So, it’s only natural that you might find yourself overcome with different emotions when you’re a bridesmaid: excitement, pride, feeling overwhelmed, nervous or anxious. Not uncommon for there to be a tear or two.
The job of being a bridesmaid is an exciting one, and one of the most exciting parts of being part of someone’s special day. But with being a bridesmaid comes expectation. It’s a job with expectation and being part of someone’s special day can be a big responsibility. When you have a life of your own, squeezing in dress fittings, brunches, organisational meetings, hen-do prep and more, can seem like a lot to manage. But, whether you’ve been a bridesmaid countless times before or it’s your first time, there are a few things that are universal. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Lists will be your best friend
Being part of the bride team involves so many things. The bride-to-be will probably need your support and help with a total range of things but being there for her through this whirl-wind of emotions will be one of your main jobs. The more organised you are, the easier your journey will be. Whether you’re helping out with the wedding dress shopping or throwing an amazing hen-do, there will be lots to do and lists/spreadsheets/calendars will be your best friend. Remembering to make a note of any dress fittings or important dates, those kind of things.
Prepare, prepare, prepare
As you may have gathered, it’s important to expect the unexpected as a bridesmaid. It’s completely normal that certain things might take longer or go wrong, but this is where you come in. If you’re organised and prepared for things before the big day, you’re helping the bride-to-be out in a massive way. She’s going to have so much going on and so many things to be thinking about, she might not remember to bring things that are totally essential. So, you need to be as prepared as you can be. An emergency kit for the big day will come in handy. It’s the small things. Think about including things like:
- Deodorant
- Perfume
- Blister plasters
- Hair pins and hairspray
- Mouthwash/mints
- Lip balm
- Lipstick
- Tissues
- Something blue!
Before the big day, get a proper sleep to prepare for the unpredictable day ahead.
Try to keep the bride-to-be as stress free as possible on that all-important day so that she just has to think about the fun things – her hair, make-up and getting married!
Don’t take on more than you can handle
Although it’s completely understandable that you want your friend/sister/cousin/bride-to-be to have the best day possible, be realistic about what you can or can’t do as a bridesmaid. Whether that’s time commitments, financially or emotionally, it’s impossible to everything, and as long as you make this clear from the start you’ll be managing expectations. It’s better to say from the beginning, “I absolutely want to be there for your special day and help as much as I can but the only few things I can’t commit to are…”, rather than agree to everything and end up disappointing people. She’ll be grateful that you’ve told her before the big day so there’s time to prepare and fix anything that needs fixing well in advance. You can be honoured but still want to know what’s expected of you. She’ll also know how much of a bit commitment of time (and money!) it is for you, so if there are certain things you need to be open about, do that.
Think about setting a budget
Weddings are expensive, and when you’re part of the bridal party, there are a lot of things to be taken into consideration when it comes to how much you’ll be spending. But, if you work out realistically how much you can spend and how much is feasible for you to budget for the occasion, it will make it a lot easier for you to manage and also be upfront with the bride about what you can afford. Maybe think about the absolute maximum you can spend in total (hen party, dresses and other outfits, travel including flights and hotel rooms, etc) and let the bride-to-be/planner know this number in advance.
Love the dress (or pretend to)
How many films or TV shows have you seen where the bridesmaids dress is revealed and… it’s awful? Maybe it’s not your style, fit or shape and the colour completely does not suit you. But, you’ve been assured that it’s wonderful and you’ll be able to reuse it and wear it another time (which is your least favourite idea). Take a second to imagine how stressful it must be for the bride-to-be. Trying to find a dress that everyone likes and a dress that suits everyone, while also planning a million different other things can’t be the easiest thing, so in line with helping her have an incredible day, just suck up the dress! Or, if you really can’t stand it, offer alternatives that the other bridesmaids like too so you’re not adding more work. There are also companies where you can rent bridesmaid dresses, similar to how groomsmen rent tuxes, so see if that’s an option that the bride has considered.
Remember, it’s a sweet tradition
You’re not just there as another number or a ‘must invite but don’t really want to’ guest. As a bridesmaid, one of your jobs is to be emotionally supportive and comfort the stressed duo, a total all-around helper, a prop, an organiser, all in one. Being invited is a symbol of how important you are to her and how much she wants you there to not only celebrate her special day, but be with her through every step of it. There’s a balance between being vocal about what you can and can’t do, and also just biting your tongue with certain things to help the bride-to-be and her husband-to-be have a smooth (as can be!) wedding day.
Enjoy it!
It will be a whirlwind of a day. There will be so much preparation and organisation and lists and tastings… but the day itself will fly by and be over before you know it. Make sure to get as many pictures as possible to remember it all, dance until your feet hurt with the rest of the bride team, enjoy all of the food and the delicious wedding cake, P.s. bring tissues. Tears are a thing.